Is it just me?

Woke up super early today for church...i was so unprepared to go church today....for class, we carried on the teachings of biblical faith and natural/human faith...my mind drifted away halfway... there were too much on my mind...sigh...

sometimes i wonder why am i still holding on to the promises of God...and i just don't understand why am i still believing and trusting God...
i just don't understand...u may say it's my faith...for God..but in my heart do i really have that strong faith? it seems that my faith for God is even smaller then a mustard seed... God...i dun understand....why? why am i trusting you? why am i still following you? are you really there? come one! give me a smile from heaven! many people around me stumble and fall...but why am i still standing? it's NOT because of my faith, it's somethign else...something i don't understand... seomthing you had rooted in my heart... what is it? or is it to feel the emptyness in me that i come before you? or am i expecting something in return? maybe everyhting was an act....

Love is seen though actions...and not what we say, or what we sms everyday to our loved ones...
if someone u know comes up to you and says..."i love you" does he/she actaully loves you?
words u say are from your mind and mouth...BUT...actions you show are from your heart...
be it a small gift or just being there for the person...even if there's no response from that person...u perservere on...because.. Love does not fails..ARRGHHH...God...Do i love you?

*Impression without Expression is Depression*

today during lunch, my cell group shared 6 blessings snow skin moon cake...durian, orea, rum and raisin, green tea, pandan and black sasemee flavour..yumyum...i bought moon cakes for the gang...it cost me a bomb..and it's coming out from my pocket money...
and kientat...please stop saying i have alot of money..because i DON'T...u don't have to be rich to buy thigns for others okie...maybe i splurge too much...but becuase i don't mind spending for the people i love alot...and not because i have too much cash to spare...u understand? hey! so if u receive losta stuff from me...it shows how much you are to me...if u recieve nothing...hmm, err....k la, still love u a bit la..=)

The winner is not the one who finishes the race...BUT finishes the race with the torch BURNING...

Study smart!
Tocky

6th months Death Anniversary...

Finally!!! My presentation is over!! Done with all the sky high reports...=) Next hurdle now is.. 2 weeks of test and exams! i have 6 papers altogether... The gang has one week of study break!!! whereas poor me...my exams starts this comign monday...gang went to have an overnight mugging on friday, din't join them because of a very bad sharp pain in my head...
i hope is nothign serious...keep getting it since this week...terrible...
All the best for your exams everybody!!! especially (Tracy, Qian hui, Hui Hua, Kien Tat, Qing Shun, Neo Jun Xiong...) have fun mugging...=)

Oh yes..my gems presentation on digital photography...my lecturer actaully likes it!!!
he said 3 words after my presentation " I am touched" WOW!!! i mean...it was really unexpected...comparing to others, mine was below average standard...but i think it touched his heart somehow..thank God...or i might jsut fail this module...neo's presentation was really interesting too!!! and my dear tracy...she was the only who did a scrap book...when everyone did a slide show presentation...and spent $6...when we spend like 50cents on a cd...
my story for my presentation was..."In memory of my best friend" i can send it to you people out there if u want to see it =)

anyway...today marks 6 months death anniversary of my buddy, my brother my best friend...stay cool up there allright brother...this presntation is a little gift not from me...but from my heart to you...=) miss you...will be joining you when my time is up..
so many things have been happening, and i wished u were here with us...Neo's got a really caring girlfriend...kien tat's falling in love with a really sweet girl...qing shun have been giving tuition to maple...and me...u noe! i shan't say..hah secret eh?...*wink* your mum misses you like crazy!!! please appear in her dreams once in a while...yur dad is becoming more loving to the family,maple is studying really hard (dun worry, no one dares bully maple with us around) ..natalie's working really hard and planning to further her studies, nyati has no one to cook for...and YOGI...my goodness...yogi as timid as ever..

Last but not least! Happy BELATED birthday kien tat!!! jsut celebrated your birthday 3 hours ago. ( owe you a present ) i dare you say "no need present, it's the thought that counts"
i pray one day u will expereince the Love of God kie? continue to strive for your dreams...work hard play hard...a quote for you.. "Life is a jouney not a destination"
You have been a great buddy...to all of us...i pray that love in your famiyl will continue to strengthen each day... and finally...just to make you fly in your dreams tonight ---- " you are quite handsome"

take care friends..=)
Tocky..


kientat...u noe i'm kidding rite? *wink*

Brother's For Life
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Brother's For Life...
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Happy belated birthday phillane! haha..ages since i took neoprint...=)
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and afterall...you my wonderwall...

* ma'am -stay strong with the Lord, blessed is the men who perseveres under trials" you are not alone ;)

friday qingshun stayed over at my home...he treated me bigmac at macdonalds for sub-dinner...
honestly macdonalds is the last place i would choose to eat when i'm hungry...the only meal i eat is fillet 'o" fish...=P long john silver is a nono for me unless i'm at a really tight budget... so where do i always eat? unless u really know me..it's impossible to guess...hahaha....i really want to try having dinner at the zoo....a different experience...tsk tsk...=)

okok so friday night, me and qingshun went to pasamalam at angmokio....though as usual i bought nothing...but it's nice to be in the atmosphere of a night market...haha...i can almost memorise the sequeunce of stalls at pasamalam...it's always the same!!! let me guess..the tail end of the pasamalam either sells fruits or pillows! there will always always be a stall which sells sourpalms, dates, and all the colourful prunes...and of course..the famous games which they have...those frogs floating around the pool of water and u have to hook it up using a pole...and yes...the pingpong thingy u have to roll and accumulate points..heh..

went back home after that...qingshun have to practice memorising his script for the star idol competition tommorow at junction8...so now u know why he stay over at my home..haha...
i was so nice to let him have my bed to sleep...,my bed is 2in1 but...i was too lazy to drag it out...and i used the mattress instead -_- *results of the competition? you'll have to ask him yourself =P

church today...someone called me nerd...-_- the same person who ask me to eat meat...
well, i may not be that handsome...but i don't think i look nerdy... and another person say i look super tanned and dark...i have comments every sunday...i wonder why...

presentations lined up, reports sky high,projects due this week...this is going to be one crazy week..i doubt i'll even have time to breathe..eyes are popping out, head is dropping...
everyone is going through the same thing...all the best friends! 3 more drainy weeks to a solid month of holiday...woot...

hold me in your arms, never let me go! because i can't stop, never stop falling in love with you...
tocky...

Take me Deeper

first of all let me complain about the weather...i don't know why...but it's getting hotter everyday, either the ozone layer is depleting at a super fast rate or the earth is getting closer to the sun.... and worst my journey to schoool is long and drainy...imgaine, no air-con, hot air blowing at you...my goodness...u can pratically feel yourself melting in the bus...

as usual, project deadlines are getting closer....it's always the end of term when we start to get busy....and rushing for projects..."work under pressure" tsk tsk...

i was sitting beside this woman in the bus the other day.not long, she pressed the bell, and alighted the bus with a smiling face...---the woman was blind....people often complain what a sad life they have, so boring,, so meaningless, so stressfull, so many problems... people...imagine yourself as this blind lady...the world is dark to her....no mornings, no afternoons...and yet she still has the courage to live her life...compare boring, meaningless,stressful with this blind lady's life...one phrase stuck my mind " life is indeed precious" be thankful with what you have, praise and glorify God..there are many people less fortunate then us.... =)

today cell group...
"There is a longing only you can fill,
A raging tempest only you can still
My soul is thirsty Lord
To know you as i've known
Drink from the river
That flows before your throne.

Take me deeper
Deeper in love with you
Jesus hole me close in your embrace,
take me deepher that i've ever been before
i just want to love you more and more
how i long to be deeper in love

sunrise to sunrise i will seek your face
drawn by the spirit
to the promise of your face
my heart has found in you
a hope that will abide...

�This gift and you shall never part, for this gift I give you is all my heart.�
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Mooncakes!

*most impt announcements first...Mooncakes!
My church will be selling mooncakes and all proceeds will go to our building project for Harvest Care Centre (SimsAve) involved in community and social services..
so any of you want mooncakes...please =)) don't hesitate to order from me =) drop me an e-mail stongmusculararms@hotmail.com and i'll send u the order list =) for guys, this is your chance to impress your girl's mum!!! what better present to give on mooncake festivel then a 4 piece delicious mouth watering mooncake for the whole family to enjoy...=)) for girls...u can buy a 6 mini snowskin mooncake...and check this out...u have orea chocolate,greentea, black sesamee, rum & raisin, pandan, honey dew and coffee flavour...my goodness how can u resist that! auntie and uncles! buy a box for your whole family to enjoy! =)) even better, buy a few boxes for your colleages, bless them!!! =)

went out with the gang on saturday night...wanted to watch movie, but there wasn't any that suited our time, and wan LILIN did not want to watch valiant...anyway, good thing we din't watch...a waste to spend $9.50 on a cartoon movie....it was so funny...if you guys remembered, i once wrote a post on the bird droppings falling on me...i was telling the gang if the bird dropping were to land on me again, i'll buy each of them an i-pod" i don't believe that will ever happen again...unless i'm that *lucky....and the funny thing was, their reaction was the same..together, they looked to the sky and began to pray that the bird will drop it on me...hahahaha
so walked to wheelock, waited for 30mins to have dinner at NYDC...i had dessert only...

*miss wan...be prepared for the pricess gift!!! you'll love it! and thank God u never assinate me for copy catting u...hahaha...-chun tian the chun wei... ;)

church today...
"Where can i go from your spirit? where can i flee from your presence? if i go up to the heavens, you are there, if i make my beds in the depths, you are there. If i rise on the wings of the dawn, if i settle on the dark side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."

take care everyone...
Be not afraid of growing slowly, buf of standing still
Tocky.. =)

Jesus Saves

Okie...lesson was suppose to start at 10.30am today, and lecturer reminded us to be punctual because the course director will be coming in for an in-class assesment on him...
and 10.30 comes, mr.loo standing in front, with a miserable me, looking at him staring at eachother...yes! you've guess it! my whole class was late except me...then came the course director...u've guess it again! 3 person in the class now...hahaha....
director almost fainted...poor mr.loo...i was laughing my head off at him...poor guy...whole class sabotage him...haha...=)))

then came concrete design class....the formula INVESTED module...3 weeks...2 and a half hours a week for 1 miserable question to be completed... just imagine the cauculations...my goodness

came back home, went to borrow 2 dvd's with my mum..hotel rwanda and wimbeldon...yes i noe i'm lagging...haha...but well...no one to watch movie with...solution- DVD'S !

oh dear...just recieved a sms...bad news..stop here...upate soon...
tocky...

A Passionate Man...

had a tough week...project datelines are drawing closer...exams are coming....
just had Geomatics term test today, don't think i will do well, maybe a just pass...and worst! it's not a difficult paper...have to do more tutorials! learnt my lesson -_-

have not collected my specs...have to wait till weekend when my dad comes back from malaysia...

had cell group today, talked about authenticity and mutuality of real fellowship...something that my cell leader (Jessica) said that struck me...
"Mutuality means giving and receiving, and depending on each other"
i realise i love to share my life problems...But...i should also learn to listen to others....learn to help others, learn to encourage...not that i never listen or help other's, but i want to do it with a more passionate heart...Really thank God for this cell group
A passionate man with a wild and fierce heart...


shall continute tommorow, i'm dead beat! take care

tocky

my classmates! The Civil And Structural Engineers of the future....remember us! we are going to be the ones, who will be building your homes and structures all over the world...
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How Cool Is That...!

went to church today...felt recharged UNTILL... u won't believe it... someone told me something which really affected me... he said " stop drinking milk, it's time to chew some meat" (in relation in my spiritual walk with God) is an insult to me...okok, i shan't elaborat further in case i get too violent...hahaha anyway, guess i'll just forgive him...

Okie now for the shocking news of the year...Everyone...believe it or not....
"MY DAD ACTUALLY READS MY BLOG!!!!!!!" friends...just imagine, yur dad reads yur blog...
i have no comments...speechless..haha...i told this to tracy and pamela, and thery actaully said "this is so cool"... -____-!!!!

okie..since i know my dad reads my blog, i'll complain here if i dun have enough allowance or i want something badly...like an IPOD!!!! muahahha.... wanted a new camera first actaully...BUT...my mp3 is spoilt...tsk tsk..so..ermm..errmm...erm...ya =)))

auntie and uncles reading my blog...u should check out your childrens blog too... doesn't it remind u of your younger days? hahaha...i know there are aunties and uncles reading my blog...i can feel it...haha... take care!!!

tocky...

Expect the unexpected...

okie, i had never expect this to ever happen to me...but it happened...
i was walking along orchard outside taka today...and....
a BIRDSHIT dropped on me... it was green and cloudy arghh...i duno how to descibe..
there were like throngs of people staring at me....laughing i suppose...
how unfortunate can i get..tsk tsk...lucky i wasn't meeting some girl..but kientat...hahaha..
can u imagine out of a thousand people there...and a whole piece of land to do their buisness, this particular bird had to do it above me...
and for those supersticious people out there..my i/c number is xxxx....u can go buy yur 4D...
buy me an i-pod if u strike =)

morale of the story- carry an umbrealla everyhere u go...
tocky...

Protect,Trust,Hope,Persevere...

okie, today is a really sad day won't go to the details, coz it might bring some of u down...sorry gang, my mood affected u all...i'm seldom sad, but when i'm sad...argh...it must be really saddending...went to clementi macdonalds to have a drink with the usual gang...
shared with them something, and i hope miss tracy wan lilin felt the wave...
tsktsk... waht i said din't come from me, but from my heart...yup...
7 of my classmates skipped engineering maths today...Teacher thought it was a strike...
followed kien tat to cut his hair...and my goodness it's terribly short now...
went to have dinner, and yes my favourite pepper crab...had a nice and long talk with maple today...and glad everything's okay for her..her grades are improving...and i reminded her to thank God...=) and maple if u are reading this, please stop eating so much toberone..

jun xiong, i may not noe exactly how u feel now, because the best person to understand this is-- yourself...but i've gone thru exactly what u had and i know it's terrible..u will feel restless, irritated, something seemed to be hanging in your heart, a burdenful feeling, like something dragging u..rite? continue to seek God and pray...look at the bright side of life, i noe it's easier said then done...but life is a Gift from God treasure is like there's no tomorow...here's my most favourite verse in the bible...Believe it or not, i memorised the whole thing....
"Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth, love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perservere, love never fails..." will be here for u brother...always....

and for everyone whose reading this blog..here's a verse from me to u...
"For i noe the plans i have for u," declares the Lord,"plans to prosper u n not to harm u,plans to give u a hope n a future." jeremiah 29:11


take care...
tocky

Another World

hello everyone, i'm back from Tioman!! Did a total of 6 dives including 1 night dive and 2 wreck dives...
Wreck dive was very interesting, we get to see all the sunken ships that sank during the wars,
interesting how these sunken ships can become a home to thousands of species...on one of the wreck dives
me and benjamin actaully dived into the wreck...my goodness there were like millions of fishes in it..
it's amazing!!! just imagine, luminous coloured corals, rainbow parrot fishes, wide blue spotted sting rays, hungry barracudas, swimming pass u....argh..another world...=)) the night dive was crazy! first time doing it..each of us have a mega huge torchlight...i playfully off the torchlight in the water and...my heart dropped...it was so dark then i could not even see my hands...
from that second onwards, torch was on all the way till i was on the boat...hahaha there was a training rescue diver with us and it was so exciting, the dive master a few times pretended to be lost and distress in the water, and he (training rescue diver) had to rescue the dive master, once on board, he had to perform a rescue senerio on him...interesting to see how all these equipment works..haha..maybe i'll learn to be a rescue diver too =)

anyway, i had nothing to buy on this trip for the gang, and they must be so disspointed with their chocolates i bought from a petrol station...=P .at least i bought somehting lor...=(

Anyway, end of the year, i'm going snowboarding with benjamin in france...if my holidays coincides with his that is =)) jun xiong is joining me too =))) hope we can make a trip down to trengganu to snorkel too on our holidyas..missed the fishes there...or maybe bagpacking...i was hoping a trip to thailand too...we can sit those cheap airline like tiger airways or something...haha...will discuss with the gang then start preparing the admin stuff...i'm not confident to drive into malaysia yet because i'm not very sure of the roads and worst so many incident where singapore cars got stolen....so for now...i stick to driving in singapore...hahaha....

oh yes!! i got myself a transparent blue plastic spectacles...my goodness i like it soo much, will be ready next week...
haha...time for a new look!!! went with my mum to choose it...be prepared for a retro lionel...hahaha
exams are almost coming again, projects have slowed down...sadly, my charlie and the chocolate factory seemed to be running away from me....hahaha...okie frineds take care!!!

Trust And Believe in God...
"Rejoice in the Lord always, and again i say Rejoice" Philp 4:4

tocky

Diving Trip @ Tioman with Benji =)
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National Day Parade 2005
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Desires of my heart...

Yes, i've changed the song again. This song is called Fight of faith... so many times in this world we are forced to do what the world wants...and so many times it pulls us away from God...but despite that, i pray we continue to stay strong and continue to fight this battle of faith to trust and believe in God...

Lord, only u know the desires of my heart, the test which i believe u have time and time laid it before me to test my faith...the feeling i have to go through, the pain...u know i'm weak in that, and u still....but i pray u continue to strengthen me in that area, that i may be a better Man of God..

went to pulau ubin on tuesday for cycling, used up every squeeze of muscles cycling up the super steep slope...the last time i fully use my leg muscles was like 2 years ago during secondary school...with all the exercise, i'm getting stronger everyday...hahaha...

going to tioman later in the evening, i hope i would enjoy myself there, seeing the ultra clean sea, colourful corals, enormous fishes, and yes dolphins!!! please let me see dolpphins...and yes i'm doing a night dive...this is so amazing...i'm going to see what's in the sea at night...i'll take some pics and post it yah?

*messages

Kientat - knowing u are not that adventorous type, i will just take some pics and show u =))
Qing Shun - knowing u eat anything and everything, but i cna't cope any seafood back... =) no sharks...=((
JunXiong- stay close to the Lord, every relationship has to be nutured, easily drifted hard to come back...take care brother... love...
Tracy - and yes tracy, i will just remove everything in my bag and stuff all the presents for u in it. hahah Bring u snorkeling/diving one day yar? i hope i can touch the dolphins and swim with it...it will be super cool...no piranas! when i'm gone, pleasse drink lots of water... -_-

take care friends, please miss me,
Tocky...

The Crazy Christian

it's been such a long time since i last post, don't know where to start from...hahaha...
hmm, have been very busy with schoolwork and projects lately as usual...
last week, celebrated qian hui's birthday at cafe cartel cineleisure with the gang and my cousin,
ate barbeque rips which i had to later beg the others to finish it...haha...tracy joined us after her yoga class and we went to starbucks for a drink, and yes she bought herself a botak sandwhich for dinner..hahaha...

on friday, went to festival of praise with tracy,hui hua and tracy's friend...my goodness, there were throngs of people there...and yes! the 2 biggest christian bands in the world- Hillsong Australia and Delirious were there...the indoor stadium was indeed filled with hearts of young and old desperate to praise God..Amen! This is the first time i attend a concert filled with people so so crazy for God....
people may say we are crazy because of the way we praise and worship God
but remember, if someone calls u crazy, don't get angry with them,...Because we are indeed crazy....we are crazy for God! =)) Amen! yet another experience of heaven on earth, where thousands come together as one body to paise God... everyone seemed soaked by the word of God..Amazing! Went to holland for dinner, and dear tracy treat me and huihua to dinner at crystal jade...either she's drunk or she really wanted to treat us...hahah ;)

"And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting." Acts 2:2

Went wakeboarding with tracy,my sister, cousins, and qingshun
quite disspointed that i did not manage to do my backflip...haha......we had a mini party on the boat too...haha...after that we went to oarchard for a movie, watched this award winning movie..
i was speechless after watching it, u guys can ask tracy what show it was...excellent! -_-
after that, we went to NYDC for dinner, ben ate some spicy pizza, qing shun ate 3 amigo, sis ate chicken pie, patricia had a can of sprite, and i shared with tracy this mushroomy pizza..
and yes again tracy drank something which she not even suppose to think, and worst she stole part of mine drink...everyone was super tired and bloated after that and all of use took a taxi home...haha...extremly worned out...i need to hibernate...

going pulau ubin for cycling this tuesday since it's a holiday =)) anyone want to join us? =))
it's going to be yet another exciting day to come =))) haha...
i'm going tioman this weekend with my cousin for a diving trip...hope i see sharks there...
hope everyone out there is doing great...stay cool everyone ;)
Remember, Money=currency on Earth...Faith=currency in Heaven